Happy New Year
by Green Kneesocks
Summary: Mob decides to start the year 2020 off on a good note...and fails. Why oh why did she listen to Tome! Fem!Mob. MobXReigen onesided.


"Yeah, there's no way I'm doing that."

Mob wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Why did she listen to Tome!? Why?! This had been a terrible idea right from the start! She should have seen it from the beginning, that this would NEVER work! Of course he'd say no! Master Reigen had no reason to say yes! And Tome had been wrong! The most wrong! This was all Tome's fault!

No. It was Mob's fault.

She was the one who had listened to Tome in the first place. She was the one who had been stupid enough to think that Master Reigen would have said yes. It always worked out in manga…and anime…and Tome had said that art imitated life. Well this was life and art had not prepared her for this!

It hurt.

It hurt a lot.

And she felt like she was going to cry.

This was a terrible was to start 2020! Her standing in the remains of the first ever Spirits and Such office holiday party with tears running down her face and that stupid 'Happy New Year' song playing in the background and the TV filled with happy kissing couples and the office cold and empty except for her and Master Reigen and confetti all over the floor and empty glasses of champagne and sparkling juice…

Something hit her over the head.

Oh. She had been making the room shake. The 'Happy New Year' banner had fallen down. She and Tome had made that. It had taken a long time, and several jars of glitter, and about five and a half glue sticks, and now it was on the ground and there was glitter everywhere and she'd have to clean it up later even though it felt like there would never be a later again and how could she have been so stupid?!

"Mob, hey, talk to me." He had his hand on her shoulder now. She shrugged it off. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She'd mess up her makeup. She had stolen, Tome called it borrowing but Mob had no idea how one went about borrowing their mother's makeup since there was no way to return it, some makeup that mom never used because she wanted to look pretty…and older…because she was still just fourteen…

Of course he had said no. She was fourteen!

"Ok, I was kind of harsh back there but…Mob, I'm not doing that. Just…and I know that it hurts but…no." He wasn't touching her anymore. He had even taken a step back. Now he was far away. Tome had said that the best thing to do was take him by surprise, that was how she had gotten Inukawa, so Mob had figured that she must have known what she was talking about. She was fifteen, almost sixteen, and had done stuff that Mob had only read about in mangas that she knew she should not have been reading. She had trusted Tome's judgement and now look where it had gotten her!

"There is not enough champagne in the world for this conversation…" he muttered before he grabbed the bottle he had gotten for himself and Serizawa, he had even written adults only on the bottle in bright red marker, and drank straight from it. Serizawa didn't drink and couldn't stay long, he had promised his mother that he would see her before the New Year, so it had been Mob, Reigen, and Tome. Ritsu, Sho, and Teru had been extended invitations but Teru had a party to go to and Ritsu and Sho were having a sleepover in Ritsu's room, which meant a lot of kissing probably, since they were a couple now and that was what couples did at the end of the year, they kissed.

That had been the plan, anyway.

How could she have been so stupid!?

"Mob, sit here. We need to talk." He said. He was sitting on the office couch, the side that had the tea stain on it, and he pointed to the side with the flipped over cushion because he had fallen asleep while smoking once and almost burnt the office down. Mob hadn't let that happen, she had doused him with an entire pot of tea, and saved his life. She hadn't let anything more than the couch catch fire. She knew that she should have woken him but he looked so nice when he slept…

Not that she would ever get the chance to see him sleeping ever again.

Not that she had even wanted to…she hadn't been planning on that even happening. She had thought about…a great many things…for about a year and a half now. It started with noticing things about him like how tall he was or how his mouth looked when he talked or how good he smelled, like incense and aftershave and green tea and smoking…and how he looked when he smoked…it started with noticing things and ended with her and Tome's stupid idea to kiss and maybe, not that she had been planning on it, more.

More.

Mob wasn't even entirely sure if she knew what 'more' was. She knew what she had read about, what she had seen in manga, but she wasn't sure how much of it was just things that people wanted to do and how much of it was things that people actually did. Some of it looked weird, some of it looked painful, and some of it didn't even look like it was anatomically possibly. She didn't know what counted as 'more' but Tome did and she said that the best thing to do was to be prepared for anything because he was a lot older than her and, of course, wouldn't just want to kiss.

So they borrowed Tome's mom's ID and went to an adult vending machine.

And Mob was so thankful that she had only tried to kiss him. She was grateful that she hadn't tried to do any of the stuff that she had thought about. She was grateful that she hadn't climbed up on his desk and pulled him close, like she had seen in this office manga, and pulled him close by his tie and told him to…she felt her pocket. It crinkled a little.

She took her hands away from her pockets and kept them clasped in front of herself as she crossed the room and sat down beside Master Reigen on the couch.

"Hey, glitter head, come on. It's not that bad. We all do stupid shit sometimes." He said as he ruffled her bangs. There was a shower of glitter, there, and confetti. The confetti was little 20s. Master Reigen said that they had been 2019s bought on the cheap last year and he had just cut the 19s off. He had worked so hard on this holiday party and now she had gone and ruined it. This had been her first holiday party, too, the first time she hadn't had to stay home with Ritsu while her parents went to their end of year parties.

"I'm sorry." Said Mob because, well, what else could she possibly say? She could try and throw Tome under the bus, an expression which she had learned from Master Reigen, but that would not have been a good thing to do to her friend. Besides, nobody put a gun to her head. She had been the one to stand up on her tip toes and try to kiss him.

"It's ok. Just….have you been drinking?" asked Master Reigen

"No! Of course not, I can't drink yet!" said Mob. She had put on makeup and let her hair down and even borrowed this stupid, shiny, sparkly dress from Tome. It had been a part of a cosplay but it was pretty and short and tight…on Tome, who was taller than she was, and actually looked like she was in middle school. Mob knew that she looked like a little kid, she was a little kid. She was only fourteen. Master Reigen was twice her age.

He could have gotten a girlfriend that was his age and didn't have to put on makeup or stuff a bra she borrowed from her friend to look older.

"Hey, hey, sorry, that would just explain…yeah. We do stupid shit when we drink. One time when I was your age, and I know I shouldn't have been drinking, but it was my parents' annual Christmas party and I'd had way too much eggnog and I tried to tell my dad off…and then I threw up all over the couch…not sure where I was going with this, actually…the point is that people do stupid shit when they're drunk." He was talking a lot, now, and moving his hands like she was a client. She used to like this, when he talked to her like this, but now she just wanted to sink into the couch and die.

She could live off of the snacks between the cushions and the tea that people kept on spilling.

"I'm not drunk…" said Mob softly. She kept her hands clasped together. She shifted a little and she could have sworn that it crinkled again. Her face burned, it had been burning this whole time, but now it was burning even worse. What had she been thinking? What was the MATTER with her? She had been so stupid…so very stupid…

The stupidest person who had ever lived before.

"Well, Mob, we can also do stupid shit when we're stone cold sober, too….nothing against you! Mob, I'm not mad at you and I am not judging you. You're…you're at that age when-" said Master Reigen. Mob hit her head in her hands and tried not to cry. No. She was not sitting through another one of THOSE lectures! That was the one thing that could have made this whole thing even worse than…than what it was now!

She felt her hair starting to rise in the air around her. The couch shifted and dipped. Then she felt his hands in her hair and she couldn't help it, she sighed just a little, because even though this whole thing had been awful it was still nice having him close…and he still wanted to be close to her. He wasn't mad at her, that was what mattered.

"Come on, dummy, it's not that bad." Said Master Reigen. His hands were over hers. He was pulling them away from her face. Mob lifted her head and briefly made eye contact with her before she looked away and focused on the wall beside him. Something was tying her hair back. She reached behind herself, at the back of her neck. He had tied her hair into a ponytail to keep it from fling away. How? He obviously didn't have any hair things and she hadn't been wearing any on her wrist that day.

Oh.

That was a balloon ribbon. They had blown up a bunch of them earlier for decoration. They all said 2018.

This was how 2020 started, with her embarrassed and ashamed with her head tied back with a 2018 balloon. What had they even been doing back at 2018? They had gotten lunch during the day, she had been too young to stay out this late, and then he had texted her 'Happy New Year' at midnight and then he sent her another message, that time an apology, for texting her so late.

This time she was the one who needed to apologize.

"Seriously, in twenty years we're going to look back at this and laugh. Hell, I'll laugh about it now. It really is kind of funny-" he said even though it wasn't funny AT ALL. Nothing about this was funny and now all she wanted to do was go outside and lay down in the snow and die.

"Ok, not that funny. Just…it's ok to feel the way you feel." Said Master Reigen

"…it's not…" said Mob. It was stupid and she was stupid and that was what they would put on her grave 'Here lies Shigeko Kageyama, also known as Mob, a very stupid person'. She just wanted to go home. This was the worst, the absolute worst, and she had no idea how she was supposed to ever come back and sit in this room with him ever again.

"It is." He took a drink after that. It must have been empty because he tried to toss it in the garbage can after that. She caught it with her powers before it could hit the ground and shatter. Maybe she should have let it shatter. If it shattered then she could have gotten up and cleaned it up and then ran away and never looked back.

She wanted to run away.

But she also wanted to come back.

Her feelings hadn't gone away just because he said no. She still wanted to kiss him. She still wanted to hug him. She still wanted to see him dressed like he had when they had been training for that marathon. She still, she knew that she still, would lay down in bed and hug her pillow close and imagine that it was him. She still wanted, more than anything else, for him to do that thing she had seen where the boy grabbed the girl and dipped her and then kissed her and then her leg popped up…that would have been so nice…

But she also wanted to lay down and die because she had been stupid enough to think that he would ever do any of that with her. She was just a kid. He was a man. He could have been with a woman. She had been planning this, thinking about this, for so long and it had never occurred to her even for a moment that he wanted to be with a girl, woman, his own age.

With real boobs, not tissue boobs.

"Mob, you've got a crush on me and that's fine. It's normal for people your age to get really intense and really sudden-" said Master Reigen

"It wasn't sudden…it's been for a…while…" said Mob. She had a crazy thought, an insane thought, that maybe if he knew how much she loved him, that she had been in love with him for years, that he would love her back. That was how it worked in a manga she'd read, before, but that was a school teacher and a student. Well they were in high school, too….and she was just in middle school…and also art maybe didn't always imitate life…

Of course it didn't.

And she was just digging herself in deeper.

"Well…that's…something. Normal. It's something totally normal. You're fourteen years old and this is all normal. Ok? You're not…it's ok to feel the way you feel and it's ok to have felt like this for a while." Said Master Reigen

"I'm so stupid…" said Mob softly. She tucked her head down and stared at her hands. Glitter. So much glitter. It wouldn't ever come off. It would stay with her for the rest of her life as a constant reminder of this night.

So this was how she started the year 2020, huh?

"No, you're not stupid, you're just young. You're entitled to make a few mistakes at your age. It's normal. We all make mistakes sometimes, God knows I did at your age, but we can learn from them." He said. He patted her on the back when he said that like this was just a normal night and he was giving her normal advice. It wasn't a normal night, not at all, but he was so good to her to treat her like it was…

"And, honestly, I'm flattered. Really I am but I'm going to have to say no. it's not you, you're a great girl, but you're too young for me. I'm not even sure if it's legal…and I'm not going to look that up I might end up on some kind of list if I do…and even if it was we're master and student." Said Master Reigen.

"But…what if…never mind." Said Mob. She was about to ask some stupid question like what if she were an adult. She knew that the answer would still be no. She couldn't imagine a time when they wouldn't be master and student. Besides, he would just get older too. She hadn't seen him age a day since she had met him but she knew that he was getting older. He would just keep on getting older and older and no matter how much older she got, too, she would never catch up to him.

"Mob…listen…I like you as a friend and I always will, ok? And I still like you…as a friend…and I'm not upset with you at all. The way you feel towards me is ok, it's normal even, but nothing will ever come of it. You're only fourteen, Mob, it wouldn't be right. You should find a boy your own age to be with. Like…what about that red haired kid that hangs around Serizawa?" asked Master Reigen

"Sho? He's Ritsu's boyfriend." Said Mob. Master Reigen went through so many different expressions that Mob didn't even both trying to read them. She was too clueless to read them, anyway. She was so clueless, the most clueless, clueless enough to think that Master Reigen would have ever liked her back.

"I…didn't know that about your brother. Tell him congrats from me. Wow, you think you know a person…anyway, there's lots of other guys out there. Like what about…Hanazawa? He's your age." Said Master Reigen

"He's…nice…" said Mob. She did like Teru a lot but not as much she liked Master Reigen…but she did like him…he was always so nice to her. Well not when they met and he thought that she was a boy but he was nice to her now. Plus they had saved the world together, too. She didn't think that she could ever confess to another person again, though, because they might have said no. Maybe she should have just given up and bought a bunch of cats and lived with them…or with Tome in an apartment downtown where they would get up to hijinks like she had always said.

"There. He's a nice kid and he's your age, too. Or whoever. Just not me, ok? It can't be me. You're a good friend, Mob, and I care about you a lot but not in that way." said Master Reigen. Mob didn't need to be told a million times, she had heard him before. He didn't feel that way about her. End of story. Roll credits. Get a refill on your popcorn before you exited the theatre.

"I know, we're just friends." Said Mob

"Ok. Just friends…ok? Just…don't let this get you down. You're a good kid, Mob, a great kid and you'll find someone. Ok?" said Master Reigen. Mob nodded.

"I...I won't." said Mob even though she didn't think that anyone would ever want to be with her, ever, so why would she even try? What would she do now? How could she ever have faced him again after this? How could-

His hand on the side of her face.

"Hey, don't cry. Mob…you'll get through this. Ok? Tomorrow…we'll laugh about it tomorrow I guarantee it." Said Master Reigen. Mob nodded even though she was still crying, just a little. Tears, not sobs. He brushed the other tear from her cheek and she tried to stop crying but she just couldn't.

"Hey Mob…talk to me. What are you feeling right now?" he asked even though he knew fully well what she was feeling. He wasn't clueless like she was. He was the best at reading people, including her, and he could tell that these obviously weren't tears of joy!

"I feel…bad. I feel really bad about…about what happened. I feel bad and stupid. I don't know why I ever listened to Tome-" said Mob

"Tome? What's she got to do with….don't tell me she put you up to it." Said Master Reigen

"She said….she said that if I liked you then I should just…go for it. That's how she got her boyfriend." Said Mob

"Her boyfriend…this had better not be a grown man or I swear to God…he's not going to jail…I'm going to jail…" said Master Reigen

"He's in her class, Master…and why would you go to jail?" asked Mob

"Because, Mob, if a guy my age ever tried anything with either of you I would have no choice but to kill him. Ok? Mob…go for guys your own age. Guys my age do not date girls your age. It's not right and I don't even think that it's legal." Said Master Reigen

"The age of consent here is fourteen." Said Mob

"You….you've researched this…" said Master Reigen. He reached down next to the couch and frowned. Mob called over a bottle of sparkling juice with her powers. He must have been looking for the champagne…but that was all done with. He seemed fine, though, so Mob didn't worry. He wasn't acting how drunk people did in anime. He was just swaying a lot while he sat. Tome said that plan B was to get him drunk…but Mob felt like that was a very skeevy thing to do to someone. Drunk people could not say yes, that was what they said at the assembly they had at school.

"Tome did. She looked it up and the age of consent is only fourteen-" said Mob

"Too damn young! That…that is not right at all…not ok, I mean. Ok? Just…stay away from guys my age, stick to guys your own age, and don't feel bad about what happened here, ok? We'll look back at this and…and you're going to cry…you know what?" asked Master Reigen

"What?" said Mob

"I bet you a million yen that I'm so drunk that I won't remember a moment of this by tomorrow. Yup. Way, way, way too drunk." Said Master Reigen. He leaned back and threw his arm over his eyes. Mob smiled. Right, he had been drinking, and at school they said that drinking could cause memory loss.

This was great.

"Do you mean it?" asked Mob

"Yup…far too drunk…the drunkest I have ever been in my life…yup…that's how I'm going to start the year 2020…drunk as a salaryman on payday…" said Master Reigen. Mob was happy, even though she knew that she shouldn't have been. Being drunk was serious, they had said at school, and she knew that she should have stayed with him and made sure that he didn't get hurt…

But she wanted to go home so he could forget. So she could forget. So that they could both forget that this ever happened…

And start 2020 off on a good note.


End file.
